Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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