And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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