A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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