Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
