he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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