is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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