Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
