What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Two words: blizzard sex
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
