what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
