You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Alive.
So much puke
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
