He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize