Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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