I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
