Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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