I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
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