did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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