no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Too much gin, very little bucket
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
