how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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