Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
