..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
