you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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