OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
