drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
