On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
look no pants
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It's Friday. Sex?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
