woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
