I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
