Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
