I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize