I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
