its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
