apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
