It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize