You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
