Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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