So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
