I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
