the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
