hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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