Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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