ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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