Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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