It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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