...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
