You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
