I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
