So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
