its not stalking. its research.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
