I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize