Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize