How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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