When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
