If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
im six kinds of drunk right now
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
