His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize