in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I can't turn off my feet"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
