I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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