she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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