Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
