I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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