he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
