Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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