Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
