I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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