dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
