??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I am available for nakedness
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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