Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
