Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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