So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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