Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
