hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
