Say something about gay babies.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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