So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
